We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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