So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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