haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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