Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
