do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
