Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
soo... how was my night?
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