you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
