just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
