I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
