I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Congratulations! We have a period
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
