...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
