She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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