who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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