I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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