I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
