last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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