so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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