Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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