She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
