Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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