Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
