Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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