I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Randomize
