you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize