dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How naked do you want me to be?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
