Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
