the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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