Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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