doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
barbara walters just said penis...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just found puke in my bra..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
