dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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