just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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