i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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