big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
