So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
