Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
