Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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