Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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