I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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