Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
