Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
