I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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