We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?