Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone