I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
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I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
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I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here