OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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