I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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