Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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