i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So here I am, sexting at work.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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