they need to just BURY HIM!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
