I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
