all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
