I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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