u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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