He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My vagina is officially offended.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
