is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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