He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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