Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
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He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i've created a new STD.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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