It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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