omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
