Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Bring me that man meat
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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